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This paragraph was in a devotion I read this week.

“Are you weary today? Spend a few quiet moments inviting God to refresh your soul. Ask him to strengthen you, to speak tenderly to your heart, and to show you which way to go. Sit worshiping at the well of your Father and drink deeply.”

I don’t know that I have ever asked God to refresh my soul, or to speak tenderly to my heart. I feel like I should be able to arouse refreshment on my own power. I know that God is a loving God, however, if I feel like I am not up to “my standard” or not where “I think” he expects me to be. Then I don’t expect him to speak tenderly to my heart. I expect reprimand or disappointment. Actions of my own struggles.

Sit, worship, and drink deeply. Even as I read that and want that. A part of me says, “that’s not the way it should be.” God doesn’t just want me to sit and ask and expect. He wants me to DO. (Old habits, and struggles die hard). But, maybe just maybe I am wrong. Maybe there are times when God says, you are tired, and worn out and its OK. Just sit for a bit and rejuvenate.

There is a part in the plant growth process where a seed sits in the dirt before it burst forth and grows. It is called germination?

Germination – 1) The development of a plant from a seed after a period of dormancy. 2) The process of something coming into existence and developing.

I looked and there are 5 steps in the germination process

  1. imbibition – water fills the seed.
  2. The water activates enzymes that begin the plants growth.
  3. The seed grows a root to access water underground.
  4. The seed grows shoots that grow towards the sun.
  5. The shoots grow leaves and begin photomorphogenesis.

Those are the same steps we take when we accept Christ. He fills us with the holy spirit, The holy spirit activates growth in us, we grow deep roots, we grow and are drawn toward the Son, and we develop disciples.

Maybe the germination process in our spiritual life isn’t a one time thing. Each time we start something new, or move to another level, or develop a deeper bond there is growth. There is germination. Maybe I am in a season of germination and that’s OK for a little while.

A plant that isn’t growing is dying. The same is true for us. Thank you God that you continue to grow us, no matter how old we are.


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Remember the show “Cheers”? The theme song said, “you want to go where people know, troubles are all the same. You want to go where everyone knows your name.” Norm would walk in and everyone would say, “Norm”. That was Norm’s community. It was a bar, but people there knew his name.

We all want community. We all want people who know are name, who know if we don’t show up. Who care if we don’t show up. Who know us.

I had the chance last night to spend a few hours with one of my communities. A group of five ladies that I have known for 15+ years. Women I have served with, done bible studies with, cried with, laughed with, and shared with. We were not all able to get to be together last night. We don’t get together very often, it’s hard, jobs, kids, commitments, life gets in the way. But it was great to take a few hours on a week night and be women together, eat, laugh, talk, share our hearts, and catch up.

Even though we don’t get together as often as we used to, if I need prayer for anything, these are five of the women I text. I know they will pray for me. Likewise, no matter what is going if I get a text from any one of them I will stop and take a few minutes to pray. There is a bond build on love and trust.

This is one community I have. I have a community with my small group, a community with my CR girls. All people who know my name, they know if I don’t show up, and they check up on me to find out why. We all want that.

Do you know what all of my communities have in common? They all come from a bigger community. Church. Redemption Church to be exact. If you don’t have a community find a local church. It’s a great place to find your people, your peeps, your group, your community. A place where people will know your name.

Thank you God for the community of people you have placed in my life.


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Be Still…………

Be still? I feel like my mind is a tangled ball of yarn. Like it is one big knot. A big mess. I can’t find an end to even begin to unravel it.

How can I find stillness in the chaos of my thoughts? I feel like that ball of yarn is life size and I am tangled in the middle. Like a kitten that plays with string and gets it all wrapped up around them. It has made me stagnate and unable to think.

What does be still mean? It means stop striving, stop fighting, relax. I am striving less than I ever have in my life. God am I fighting you? I don’t believe so. I don’t feel you are asking me to do anything I don’t want to do right now.

When I read this verse I always think of it in connection with my heart. That my heart needs to be still and know you. But right now God I need it for my mind, my thoughts.

I need my mind to be still and listen to you, listen for your direction, for your instruction. God today don’t let my mind be Satan’s cat toy. Let my mind be filled with your thoughts. May my thoughts be one accord with you. May my mind be still and know you.


I don’t know about you, but I will confess, I have a tendency to get frustrated with people. I get frustrated with people who just continue to talk, when you are trying to explain something to them. I get frustrated with people who tend to do the same things over and over, (like I ever do that). I get frustrated with people who don’t learn from their mistakes. I get frustrated with people who say one thing and do another. I get frustrated with people who lie. I get frustrated with drivers sometimes. I get frustrated with Brett sometimes. Let’s face it, we all tend to get frustrated with other people at some point or another.

As I was reading in John this week I thought about how frustrated Jesus must have been with people. Even the people who were the closest to him. At the last supper, at the end of his ministry here on earth, he must have been the most frustrated. Frustrated with his disciples, who had spent three years with him.

He must have felt like have I not taught you anything? Have you not listened at all? Do you not know who I am?

“Peter will you really lay down your life for me? Before morning comes you will deny me – not just once but three times.”

Jesus, “you know the way to where I am going”. Thomas, “we don’t know where you are going, how can we know that?”

“Philip, I have been among you all this time, and you do not know me?”

Jesus was tempted in every way just like us. He knew the frustrations that come from doing life with others. How did he handle that? He loved them. He had patience with them, and he believed in them. He knew how they would turn out. That they would spread his gospel and become mighty men of God.

God as I become frustrated with people, let me remember Jesus’ example. Help me love those I become frustrated with. Help me remember you have a plan for them.

When Something Old Looks New!

In one of my devotionals this week in John the following verse was referenced, Isaiah 53:5. “But he was pierced because of our rebellion, crushed because of our iniquities, punishment for our peace was on him, and we are healed by his wounds.” That is one of those verses that I have seen and read tons of times, but today for some reason it was like reading it for the first time.

Pierced because of my rebellion. I know on the outside I have never really seemed like a real rebellious person. I tend to color in the lines, obey the rules, and do as I am told, that is how it looks on the outside. But what about the inside, my rebellious thoughts, my mind and my heart? Jesus was pierced for those.

He was crushed for my iniquities. I looked up the word iniquity. I always think sin. The definition says, immoral or grossly unfair behavior. The similar words are wickedness, sinfulness, immorality, impropriety, vice, evil. We all have those lurking inside us, and Jesus was crushed because of it. CRUSHED. When you do something wrong do you ever have that heavy crushing feeling on your chest? That crushing feeling is guilt, and Jesus took it all for me.

Punishment for our peace was on him. PEACE, it’s a craving in my life. When my alarm went off this morning I lay in bed for a little while, and I remember laying there and thanking God for the still and peace before my day began. Brett and the dogs were still, the room was quiet. I could hear my mind think. I relished in those unhurried minutes. As precious as those moments of peace were, they don’t compare to the peace referred to in this verse. God gives us peace in knowing I don’t have to do anything but believe. Jesus did the rest.

Lastly, we are healed by his wounds. Not only did Jesus’ death heal me in the heaven to come. It heals me in the day to day. Because of his wounds I am made whole. I am healed from anything in my past and anything to come in the future.

Thank you God for opening my eyes today and making a common read verse fresh and alive.


It’s a new year and a new decade. I don’t want to think about how many decades I have seen begin. That kind of sounds ungrateful doesn’t it? Thank you God for the number of decades I have had the privilege of getting to see begin.

The fact that this post comes on January 5th and not January 1 describes how I want the New Year to go. More laid back, less stress, less unrealistic expectations (in me and in others). Maybe just less in general. Less things, less clutter, less strive, less pressure, less judgement, less going and doing, less rules to follow, less no’s and more yes’s. Less of me and more of God, less of me and more of others.

Funny cause I sat down to write about what my word of the year was going to be. I had been waiting on God to give me one. When I didn’t have a clear answer or one didn’t fall out of the sky, I picked a few of my own. Compassion, my husband actually laughed at that one. Respect had been floating around in my mind for a few days. I knew it needed to be a word for my marriage this year and decided maybe I could use it in general. I had even copied the definition on a card and put it in my Bible. Trying to make it fit into my life for the year. Already thinking in my mind what I might need to do to make it “work” as my word. How I could put it into practice in my spiritual life, my marriage, my relationships, and my job. Respect was going to be my word.

But as I sat down and started typing about less, I realized God just gave me my word. I would not have picked that on my own, it’s not profound, or holy, it’s not deep, it’s not impressive, it’s just a small four letter word. But I feel and know in my heart that is what God wants me to work on this year, LESS. Mainly less of me. Stay tuned, and follow this year to see how God uses this word to work in my life. HAPPY NEW YEAR, HAPPY NEW DECADE.

As You Find Me

I have been back in this pit of anger and resentment the last couple of weeks. It sneaks up on me. Just like a trap someone might dig for an animal and cover up. Before I know it I have fallen in and can’t seem to find my way out on my own. And yet at the same time it becomes a comfort to me, if that makes sense. I hold on to it with tightly clenched fist. It becomes my best friend, my favorite place.

During these last two weeks Robert (our worship Pastor) has been playing this certain song. I kept hearing it on Thursday nights at CR and on Sunday mornings. It’s by Hillsong United and is called “As You Find Me”. There is a line that God kept repeating in my head over and over, your love’s too good to leave me here.

God’s love was too good to leave Daniel in the lion’s den, He didn’t leave Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fire. He didn’t leave Noah on the ark, He didn’t leave the Israelites in slavery, He didn’t leave Joseph in the pit or in jail. He didn’t leave David in the caves. He didn’t leave Mary a single Mom, He didn’t leave the woman at the well alone. He didn’t leave Lazarus in the grave, He didn’t leave Zacchaeus in the tree, he didn’t leave the disciples alone, he sent the holy spirit. Most important He didn’t leave Christ in the tomb. Because he arose and conquered death, I/we have a hope and promise to rise from our ashes; whatever that might be, anger, resentment, addiction, fear, shame, lust, defeat, loneliness, pride, depression. God’s love is too good to leave us there.

I don’t know what your struggle is today, just know that God finds you, and loves you, right there where you are, and His love is too good to leave you there.