Some honesty this morning, because I believe we all struggle. We can try and make it look easy and make it look like we have it all together, but we are all in the same boat on this earth. We all drag around an old sin nature, some days he/she is more dead than others, some days she is very much alive. Some seasons we have it more together than others. Maybe I am wrong, and the rest of you do have it all together, all the time but let me tell you, I don’t. So, sharing some honest words from my journal entry today.
Good morning God – I sit here on the balcony in Panama Beach this morning. It’s 7:00 AM, the sun is up, and the moon is still out. How does that happen? It’s probably already 75 out and it is going to be over 90 today. This may be the only enjoyable time outside all day. As I sit here on the 20th floor I can hear the waves rolling in and I can see them below. The ocean is one of your creations that fascinates me the most.
The constant in and out of the waves, the constant in and out of the tide. The way you command the waves to stop at the shoreline and they do. Maybe that’s why I love the ocean so much, the constant of it. The rhythm of it. The flow of it. That is what I crave in my walk with you, a constant, rhythm that flows. But, so often like now I am so far from that.
Instead of constant bible reading there is hit or miss when I have the time. There is an old 70’s song by Cat Stevens, called the Cats in the Cradle. It talks about the relationship of a father and a son. At different stages in each of their lives they crave the attention of the other one, but one is always caught up in life. They can’t (or don’t) find the time for each other. They get caught up in the “things” of live, work, school, kids. Things that aren’t bad but things that fill up their time.
I am caught up in that right now, even here at the beach on vacation. I brought my bible, a study book, a journal, a notebook, all with great intentions to get in the word and spend time with you. Uninterupted time. Here it is Tuesday and I just pulled my Bible and journal out of my bag. I have been caught up with walking on the beach, running around, time with Brett (much needed time with Brett), a pleasure book I wanted to read. None of those are bad, but they have distracted me, from reading my Bible, praying, stopping to enjoy time with You. I think sometimes at the beach or in the moutains I get caught up worshipping the creation and not the creator.
There are times God when I just want to feel your presence, but that may be the wrong request. What I really need to be praying is God let me know who you are. So, today God I pray you not only show me who you are, but let me seek to know who you are. Thank You for the ocean, and the wonder of it.